Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
