I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
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