I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize