I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
