I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
