you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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