I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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