I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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