1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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