I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
How's work?
Spinning.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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