I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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