Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
