i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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