Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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