This dress was meant to end up on your floor
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
