We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
