Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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