Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
