yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
There r osticjed everywhere
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize
