i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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