And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
