Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
