you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
