I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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