it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
i believe in u and ur pee
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
