omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Come see our sink grown plant.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Couch. On fire.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
