don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
