So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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