also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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