Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize