tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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