please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
so much tequila, so little girl.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
