She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
