if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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