when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
