Duck Duck Cougar?
it was like eating out sand paper
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
