once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
