Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
The adults are the big ones right?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
