you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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