omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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