Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
