i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
