Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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