I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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