people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
this will be a night to untag.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
