Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
