420 ftw
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
