Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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