No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
