He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
