Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
