In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
