the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
