I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
