is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Randomize
