We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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