i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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