I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
