I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Randomize
