If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize