I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
You left your phone here
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