its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
