Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize